Have you ever felt like you're chasing something you can’t exactly put your finger on? At 24, following my first divorce and inspired by the movie "The Matrix," I encountered a simple yet profound concept: "Know Thyself." The inconspicuous, yet challenging quote resonated deeply, sparking a journey of self-exploration to understand the essence of this philosophy, and who I am. In this post I’ll attempt to scratch the tip of the iceberg of self-discovery.

For the following 15 years after my first divorce, I traveled the world soul searching, achieved material goals, and delved into the depths of my own psyche, seeking to uncover the self I pursued. By 36, I had lived and worked in 40+ places around the world, been married and divorced twice, accomplished all career goals, and crash-landed on the reality of single parenting. This pursuit culminated in a pivotal moment during my darkest hour, when I contemplated ending the emotional hell I experienced from my life’s massive failures.

But instead, I chose to harness my pain and lessons to help others. In that moment, I became aware of both my successes and faceplants, realizing that the self I yearned to find was my mirror reflection; the one that survived every failure, and could help others do the same.

Two fundamental realizations emerged from this journey. Firstly, the pursuit of happiness required understanding its true meaning beyond fleeting pleasures. Secondly, the concept of free choice revealed itself as the action taken against our better judgment, often leading to suffering when our efforts go to waste. To understand what both of these concept meant for me — and how they manifested in life — I first had to understand myself better, and the reasons behind my actions.

To bridge the gap, I explored concepts that I had previously ignored, even opposed. Practical exercises such as meditation — of various kinds — , self-inquiry, and introspection became invaluable tools. Trying to find myself in outer achievements resembled chopping a tree down with a hockey stick. But by questioning inherited beliefs, doing what I felt right (being true to myself), and exploring emotional aspects of my being, I discovered ways of living that better aligned with how I felt and wanted to feel.

Tools & Resources

Tools like journaling, guided meditation, therapy, and personality assessments provided clarity and the questions to continue. In my case, these assessments unveiled the unique traits that had been misunderstood as flaws. Once I embraced them as gifts, I honed and strengthened them, helping me plow through unexpected challenges.

Uncover Your Strengths (and Weaknesses)

Besides your gifts and talents, part of knowing yourself is becoming aware of your shortcomings. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses offers the power to fortify your life, and strengthen the boat at its weak points. It prevents unconscious aspects of your personality from hindering your goals, translating unhealed trauma into procrastination, anger, etc. Self-awareness can lead to improved relationships (we’ll do more of what works, and less of what doesn’t) and catapult your entrepreneurial adventure by illuminating — so you can address — the dark corners of your behavior.

Useful Literary Works

When it comes to books, "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius, "Maps of Meaning" by Jordan B. Peterson, and "Man and His Symbols" by Dr. Carl Jung were instrumental in my journey. They bridged the logical and the unexplainable, helping me connect the dots between patterns and experiences in my life. Although the list merely starts there, those interested in understanding deeper aspects of themselves will find relief in the aforementioned texts.

Practical Psychology and Self-Awareness

Psychology, derived from the Greek "psyche," means soul, while Logia refers to study or science. When you combine these two elements, you get "psychology," which means the study or science of the soul or mind. Psychology is the field of study that focuses on understanding human behavior, thoughts, emotions, and mental processes, making it a discipline that explores the intricacies of the human mind and consciousness.

Practical psychology analyzes how our behaviors, especially the unconscious ones, impact our thoughts, actions, and ultimately, our results. Practical psychology is the application of psychological knowledge to real-world challenges, aiming to provide solutions and improve individual well-being or organizational performance.

A combination of both, studying your emotions, and applying newfound challenge to life, are key in the quest of self-exploration.

Overcoming Challenges in Self-Discovery

No adventure is without its trials, and this was not the exception. Overcoming challenges required shifting my priorities from egotistical pursuits towards inner exploration. The emotional stigma associated with certain practices held me back, having experienced first hand many disappointing situations with those who knew and were better. Thus far I had lived by others' standards, and shaped myself around their demands. However, after achieving the same outcome in ways that resonated with me, I uncovered the building blocks to finding myself, and building a life around it.

Challenge Yourself

If answering this call to adventure resonates with you, here are a few exercises to kickstart your own journey:

Journaling: Start a journal to document your thoughts, feelings, and reflections. Simplicity works best, and a sentence or two are often enough to start with. The habit will build on itself.

Meditation: Dedicate time daily to meditation for self-reflection and inner peace. While there are many types (guided, Transcendental, Nidra, visualization, etc), and fool-proof practice is to sit for one minute paying attention to your breath enter and exit your nostrils. Like writing, you will extend your practice as you experience the benefits (and changes) in your life.

Self-Questioning: Ask yourself profound questions about your beliefs, values, and desires. My free “Uncover Your Purpose” workbook is a good start, but you can also resort to personality tests, self-authoring, and Mando-style self-questioning.

Thank you for reading, and congratulations on embarking on the most exciting adventure yet. Last but not least, keep an eye out for my upcoming book, "No Grail Without Dragons," where I delve even deeper into the transformative power of self-awareness and personal growth.

I appreciate you, and until next time.

Temet nosce

Victor.