7 Game-Changing Strategies Every Man Needs for Unstoppable Success.
In this post, I dive into mindset strategies, what they are, and how they translate into our lives. While known under many different names, mindset strategies are similar to a combination or recipe, than when executed properly, leads to ultimate results.
But just like a recipe, the order, amount or placement of an ingredient can make or break the outcome. In this post I share the most common challenges we face, how they affect our lives, and the mindset shifts that helped overcome them.
Mindset Strategies: The Sequences of Internal Representation Systems
Our behavior, without exception, is controlled by our internal processing strategies; the order in which thoughts, emotions and actions intertwine, leading to a specific result. Every one of us, for example, has a unique set of strategies for motivating ourselves to get out of bed in the morning. For some it may be an internal clock; for others an external alarm and for others they may hit the ‘snooze’ button several times, until they feel pressured of being late for work and getting in trouble.
You will have a mental recipe for everything you do. Nevertheless, our cultural models do not explicitly teach the strategies that make for success in each situation, mostly because they benefit from your automated behaviors. This is why we may encounter inconsistent levels of success in different areas of our lives. A person may have very successful strategies for making money, for instance, yet fail dismally with the strategies they run for personal relationships.
Let’s take a look at mindset strategies, common challenges, and how small changes produce massive results.
Understanding Internal Processing Strategies
Internal processing strategies are the silent drivers of our actions, born from experiences, both observed and lived. While some strategies serve us well, others stealthily sabotage our efforts, often eluding conscious detection and leaving us confused when we fail despite our best effort. This lack of awareness can lead to emotional discomfort and a sense of helplessness when faced with undesirable outcomes.
But to get a handle on what get’s us in trouble, we first must recognize it. Below are some of the most common strategies we experience, and how to deal with them.
Common Internal Processing Strategies
As I’ve mentioned before, our strategies were born a long time ago and we often deploy them without knowing why. My aunt, for example, baked a turkey every Christmas Eve and always struggled to cut it in half before cooking it. When her daughter — my cousin — asked her why, she replied “Because this is the way my Mom taught me and been doing it since”.
But my cousin didn’t give up, and inquired until they had no choice but to call grandma. My cousin bursted in laughter while my aunt looked rather silly when grandma answered: “because we didn’t have pans big enough back then!”.
This is not the only time I’ve witnessed this scenario, and many of us employ strategies inherited from others without considering how they impact our life, our emotional state and the chances of arriving where we want to be.
While not all inherited strategies are detrimental, certain patterns of response perpetuate negative cycles. Some examples are:
Procrastination Strategy
Trigger: Uncomfortable task, responsibility, event, etc, we know is important but rather avoid.
Strategic Response: “I’ll do it later”, “It’s not that big of a deal”, “I can catch up”, etc.
Issue: While offering momentary respite, procrastination allows manageable concerns to mutate into dire circumstances, while at no point in time we are able to shed the feeling of “missing the mark”.
Overcoming it: “Just do it”. I overcame procrastination by not embarking in “thinking” about the activity, or what led to it, and instead just got on with it. The least I told myself what I was going to do, the less excuses I came up with.
Avoidance Strategy
Trigger: Situations that involve dealing directly with stressful emotional demands.
Strategic Response: “I rather not talk to her”, “He’s the one in the wrong”, “I don’t want to be around her”, etc.
Issue: Avoidance may momentarily alleviate discomfort but creates a backlog of unresolved conflicts and erodes relationships, both with others and with ourselves.
Overcoming it: “Let me pull this thorn out of my foot”. Lean into discomfort, confront issues head-on and embrace the growth that follows. In my experience, most issues were resolved amicably and in the best interest of both parties. This helped me experience the emotional freedom one feels when conquering a challenge, heal many areas of my life, and develop courage and assertiveness.
Impulsive Decision-Making Strategy
Trigger: The allure of immediate gratification, or fear of missing out (FOMO).
Strategic Response: “There are not enough!”, “I have to have it”, “It’s unique just like me”, etc.
Issue: Impulsive decisions neglect long-term consequences, resulting in financial strain and damaged relationships. With time and practice, we get better at justifying bad choices because of the unique nature of the situation, and later pay the price of knowing better.
Overcoming it: “How do I want to feel?” Cultivate mindfulness; pause to consider the long-term implications before acting on impulse, and identify the emotional state your seek. Many times we can achieve that feeling with the things, people and situations we already have and experience.
Perfectionism Strategy
Trigger: Emotional discomfort by unexpected deviations from an ideal outcome.
Strategic Response: “This is not good enough”, “I can’t leave it like this”, “I don’t want to fail”,etc.
Issue: Unrealistic standards (often based on others’ expectations and our willingness to meet them) breed feelings of inadequacy, fear of failure and self-sabotage.
Overcoming it: “Perfect is the enemy of Done”. To overcome this challenge I shifted my focus from feeling the burden of not being perfect, to the fulfillment and relief of getting it done. I could always make it better later.
Confirmation Bias Strategy
Trigger: Cognitive dissonance.
Strategic Response: “That makes no sense”, “That sounds stupid”, “It doesn’t apply to me”, etc.
Issue: Seeking to avoid the discomfort of conflicting beliefs or opinions involves validation of preconceived notions, disregarding contrary evidence and acting against our intuition. Confirmation bias perpetuates narrow-mindedness and hampers objective decision-making, contributing to a greater degree of cognitive dissonance and emotional discomfort.
Overcoming it: “What if I’m wrong?” Pursue objectivity; actively seek out opposing viewpoints and challenge ingrained beliefs. Test your approach, read, research and make sure that everything you believe and do is product of your own conclusions.
Catastrophizing Strategy
Trigger: The ghost of worst-case scenarios and a dreaded emotional state.
Strategic Response: “I have to get ready”, “I can’t do that”, “I don’t know what to do”, etc.
Issue: By exaggerating potential threats, Catastrophizing breeds anxiety and despair, magnifies fear and impedes rational problem-solving, often leading to what we fear most.
Overcoming it: “I’ve survived worse, I’ll be ok.” Practice perspective-shifting; build resilience by envisioning alternative, more manageable outcomes, and remind yourself that you have overcome worse in the past.
Avoiding Self-Reflection Strategy
Trigger: Confronting personal responsibility and admitting our wrongdoings.
Strategic Response: “That’s not me, that’s you!”, “But you do this and this too”, “It’s not my fault”, etc.
Issue: Shifting blame to external factors to evade discomfort stifles growth and hampers meaningful relationships. It blinds us from the things we do that lead to the outcomes we fear, keeping us in a negative feedback loop.
Overcoming it: “What’s my 50% here?” Although we are exposed to external circumstances and we are only half on the equation, it’s important to know how you are contributing to the result you want to avoid. Embrace accountability; acknowledge your role in shaping outcomes, commit to personal growth and learn new ways to handle the situation better next time.
Crafting Your Winning Strategy: A Roadmap to Success
Successful individuals understand the critical importance of having an effective strategy. They regularly assess and refine their strategies to ensure they deliver consistent results. Here's a roadmap to help you craft your winning strategy:
1. Assess Your Current Actions:
Take a close look at what you're currently doing to reach your goals. Are your actions aligned with your objectives, or are they pulling you further away? For instance, if your goal is to lose weight, evaluate your exercise routine and dietary habits. Identify any thoughts, strategic responses and actions that are not contributing to your success.
2. Evaluate Effectiveness:
Once you've identified your current strategic response and actions, assess their effectiveness. Are they bringing you closer to your goals, or are they hindering your progress? Be honest with yourself about what's working and what's not. If certain elements are not yielding results, it's time to pivot and develop a new strategy.
3. Identify Areas for Improvement:
Pinpoint the areas that need improvement or adjustment. What specific actions or habits are holding you back from achieving your goals? For example, if inconsistent gym attendance is impeding your weight loss progress, consider ways to prioritize exercise and minimize distractions. If a negative mindset (ie: going to the gym is a lot of work) is driving your inconsistency, you might want to learn new ways to talk to yourself.
4. Devise a New Strategy:
Armed with insights from your assessment, devise a new strategy tailored to your objectives. Determine the steps needed to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Your strategy should be focused, actionable, and adaptable to changing circumstances.
5. Stay Accountable and Resilient:
Hold yourself accountable for executing your strategy consistently, because you are the main benefactor of your actions. Set milestones and track your progress towards your goals, but avoid holding yourself hostage. Be resilient in the face of setbacks, remain committed to your vision, and remember that we can only get to our destination one small step at a time. Achieving lasting change requires dedication, perseverance, and a willingness to re-train ourselves so that we can experience the life we want.
Conclusion:
Understanding our internal processing strategies is paramount for unlocking our full potential and achieving success. By decoding these strategies and leveraging different tools, we can mold them into pathways to fulfillment and achievement. Experiment with different techniques to discover what works best for you. Embrace the process, unlock your potential, and create a future filled with success and joy.
If you’re interested in improving your self-talk and training the coach in your mind, download my free “Conquer Your Inner Critic” step-by-step guide here.
If you’d like to explore the strategies that led to the life of my dreams, emotional harmony and sustainable fulfillment, check out my book “No Grail Without Dragons” here.
Thank you for embarking on this journey of exploration with me and I hope my content has been useful and informative.
May you continue to evolve and thrive on your path to greatness.
Victor
Resources
“Conquer Your Inner Critic: A step-by-step guide to emotional freedom”..
“No Grail Without Dragons: A Man’s Unconventional Path to Love, Purpose, and Peace”.