HOW TO SET AND ACHIEVE YOUR NEW YEAR’S GOALS.
Have you ever crafted a thoughtful list of New Year’s resolutions, but failed to achieve some (if not all) of the goals you set out to achieve?
If you’re a normal human like me, its likely that the New Year represents a chance to change habits, pursue goals, and get a fresh start (even if mentally). Maybe this will be the year you’ll lose those extra pounds, start a small business, run that 5k, heal a broken relationship, or take the first step towards your dreams. No matter your goal, the New Year is a sign of hope for many, and it can be an effective factor in changing the direction of our lives.
But wishes without actions are dead; the calendar change isn’t magical. You wont get fit overnight, your bills won’t disappear and you’ll still hate your job while simultaneously wishing you could break free from the hamster wheel. We all want to be part of the over-achievers’ circle, but the odds are stacked against us if we leave our goals to chance.
And I say chance because those who consistently achieve their goals are not luckier, more resourceful, or more disciplined than you. They don’t have less problems, more money, or a secret that helps them achieve goals at lightning speed while you’re running in circles. While In some cases that’s possible, according to experts across the board, the difference between a goals list that ends in the trash and a celebration of targets achieved is effective goal setting.
Effective goal setting allowed me to make exercise an enjoyable part of my daily routine, have a better relationship with my loved ones, start this website, write at least 3k words per day, and improve my parenting skills. But it took years to understand what drives us, and come up with a strategy that allowed me to go from abandoning my goals mid-February, to embracing the power of parallel processing and easily changing my habits for good.
But before you can master this mindset kung-ouch technique, you must understand and accept that our actions are driven by pleasure or fear. The things we do every day are the result of a specific thought pattern aimed at experiencing pleasure, or avoiding pain. While we might dread our jobs, we still get up early, shower, dress the part and show up with a smile even in challenging days. Some our vices are killing us faster, but we stay on this path because the short rush of “pleasure” is enough to justify ignoring our future selves.
If we interrupt these patterns, however, we can tap into the power of will to achieve anything. When motivated by the right reasons, humans are capable of changing direction in an instant, no matter how hard that journey might seem. I know Moms that shed a cigarette addiction cold turkey when they find out they are pregnant. I’ve seen people get in superhero shape and complete an Ultra race after a death scare, and I’ve seen men and women start million-dollar businesses after losing their 20-year corporate job and have no food in their pantry.
How can we achieve similar results, and give ourselves a real shot at nailing our New Year’s goals? The answer lies in your unconscious drivers, and changing the root trigger for your choices and actions. To better illustrate the point, allow me to share a—perhaps exaggerated— story that might shed clarity on the issue.
Imagine for a moment that you are a smoker. You have smoked for decades, and despite your family’s attempt to make you quit, you just can’t seem to follow through with it. You have tried to stop, seen a doctor, get those silly looking patches, joined a club, and even beaten yourself psychologically, but sooner or later, the vice successfully seduces you and you’re trapped—again— in the old pattern. Despite knowing that smokers can’t get life insurance, live shorter (and less pleasurable) lives, and are somewhat indirectly rejected by the rest, you just “don’t have it in you” to quit for good.
But one day, a stranger shows up at your house and puts a gun to the head of the person you love most, which could be your child, spouse, mom, or furry companion. Your heart sinks to your stomach, and the thought of watching your loved one die, and life without them afterwards, is something you don’t think you’ll be able to handle. You beg for your loved one’s life, and you are wholeheartedly willing to do whatever it takes to avoid their death. Anything else seems like an easy challenge over facing a situation you can’t unwind. In that spirit, you offer the stranger anything to change his mind. To your astounding surprise, he confesses that if you don’t want to see him ever again, all you have to do is quit smoking.
What would you do in this case? Would you find the drive and commitment necessary to follow through with quitting, or be willing to face dire circumstances in favor of a harmful habit? In other words, would you have enough—and important— reasons to change? Is avoiding the pain you’ll certainly experience worth sacrificing a short-lived “pleasure”?
Effective goal setting isn’t about making the outcome so glamorous that you’ll get tingles in your privates when thinking about it, but also by recognizing the undesirable states you’ll face if you don’t change your behavior. After all, New Years resolutions are a way of admitting our current path isn’t beneficial, and changing our current habits for better long-term results.
Below you will find a practical exercise to help you set goals in an effective way. This exercise is designed to identify limiting beliefs and replace them with ones that will empower you. While completing this exercise once is enough to change your direction for some time, where focus goes energy flows, so revisiting it will help you stay on this path until your new behavior becomes second nature, and you inevitably achieve your goals.
EXERCISE
For this exercise you’ll need about 30 minutes alone, and something to write with, preferably a journal and a pen. A journal is ideal, as it can help you revisit this exercise, track your progress, and be a roadmap when you need support.
Start by taking 10 deep breaths with your eyes closed. This might seem strange if you haven’t done it before, but it’s a proven way to center yourself and achieve a higher level of clarity. Once you are done, move onto answering the following questions.
- What are 5 goals that I want to achieve this year?
For each of these goals:
What are 10 reasons I want to achieve this goal?
What are 10 positive feelings, thoughts or results I will experience once I achieve it?
What are 10 painful outcomes, emotions or experiences I will face if I don’t achieve this goal?
What are 5 reasons why I MUST make this goal a reality?
What is the smallest step I can take towards that goal RIGHT NOW?
When would I like to achieve this goal by?
I know that it can be difficult, challenging or sometimes even boring to complete these type of exercises, but there is no other way to change your direction. Finishing this exercise can be your first completed goal of the year, and the time you invest in it—whether 30 mins or 2 hours—is worth a lifetime of benefits. Unless, in a year from now, you want to find yourself wishing you had started today.
And that’s about it. Becoming part of the high-achievers club doesn’t involve sacrificing a chicken or spending thousands on a pointless seminar. All it takes is to understand what drives you, retrain yourself to comfortably develop new habits, and making the decision to take control of your life. Your future self will thank you.
I hope this post is helpful and gives you new tools to tackle your dreams. Thank you for reading, and for being part of the small group of humans who work to improve their lives and the lives of those around them.
Happy new year,
Victor